In Praise of Modesty

Style is to see beauty in modesty.


-ANDREE PUTMAN

Modesty isn't a very exciting virtue. A sparse or stark style can be sophisticated and dramatic, but modesty seems dull, too often confused with the girl dressed in muslin sitting on the side of the gymnasium who's never asked to dance. But the French designer, Andree Putman, who has reinterpreted everything from hotel interiors to pencils, believes "unless you have a feeling for that secret knowledge that modest things can be more beautiful than anything expensive, you will never have style."

Perhaps as a child you were told not to toot your own horn, even when you accomplished something amazing. Or maybe you were told to stop dreaming of setting the world on fire, and "have more modest aspirations, so you won't be disappointed." Maybe when you try to express your authentic self you hear an old voice berating you for "being a show-off."

Yet at the same time, out of the corner of your eye you could see it was the bie gestures that got all the attention in life. Glamour. Fame. Wealth. The trinity of what's considered good taste worshiped by the world. Or at least that's the way it looks from here. It's always the wealthy women who make it on the international best-dressed lists, the movie stars' mansions that are glorified in glossy layouts. It's not enough to write a finely honed first novel, it has to be a best-seller or you'll have difficulty publishing a sec¬ond one. You can't just be a talented actress, you have to win an Academy Award to be considered a success, Tell me, when was the last time you knew of a bronze medalist signing a $1 million endorsement deal?

Most of us can't see our name in lights on Broadway, so we give up, sorry we even tried, our sense of self diminished. Being a modest success just doesn't make it. We hear "modest" and think "mediocre."

Meditate on modesty for a moment. What if she isn't the self-effacing, shy, retiring, nerdy virtue we've thought she is? What if Modesty is really passion restrained? What if modesty is a virtue so full of her own smoldering sense of self that she isn't distracted by the glitz? The American writer and illustrator Oliver Herford believed that modesty was "the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it." People with an authentic style know what they are, but even more important, they know what they are not. They don't care about labels. They care about personal expression. Frank Lloyd Wright would never have asked Laura Ashley to decorate his house, even though both of them showcased the beauty of modesty in their work. The trick is to go deep enough to mine the core of your authenticity. First, find out what you love, whether it's a coat, a couch, or a career. Worry about the packaging and the tags later.

I leave this thought with you today. Goldilocks was a modest little lady who didn't want very much. She knew what was "just right," what was perfect for her-be it porridge, chair or bed-and she made confident, creative choices. Now there's the girl I'd like to be when I grow up!